04/09/2025 by Help for Psychology Blog, Navigating the Neurodiverse Teen Years: A Parent's Guide to Safety and Support 0 comments

As a parent, your instinct is to wrap your child in a bubble of safety. In today’s world, however, the challenges aren’t always easy to see. For parents of neurodivergent teenagers, this can feel even more complicated. The very traits that make your child so unique—their trusting heart, their deep desire for connection, their spontaneity—are also areas where they might need a bit more guidance from you.

Thinking about these risks can be unsettling, but gently preparing yourself is a vital step in looking after your child. Knowledge is a warm blanket of reassurance. By softly understanding the kinds of situations that might be confusing for young people with autism and ADHD, you can learn to spot the subtle signs and trust your intuition when something doesn’t feel quite right. This article, the second in our series, will shine a gentle light on some of these potential challenges. Our aim is not to worry you, but to empower you with the awareness to be a confident and proactive guardian of your child’s wellbeing.

When a Friendship Doesn’t Feel Right: Understanding ‘Mate Crime’

For a teenager who feels lonely, the offer of friendship can feel like a lifeline. This deep human need for acceptance, however, is something that can be targeted in a form of exploitation known as ‘mate crime’.

Mate crime is not a simple falling out between friends. It is a calculated situation where someone pretends to be a friend to a person they perceive as vulnerable, with the intention of taking advantage of them. The ‘friendship’ is not real; it is a tool used to gain trust. For your neurodivergent teen, who may see the best in people and find it hard to read between the lines, this can be an incredibly difficult situation to recognise.

This kind of exploitation can show up in several ways:

Financial Exploitation: It might begin with a ‘friend’ always borrowing money and not paying it back. This could escalate to them being pressured into paying for things or even taking out contracts in their name.
Sexual Exploitation: Someone might pretend to have romantic feelings to manipulate a teenager into sexual acts they are not comfortable with. This can be very confusing within the context of what seems like a loving relationship.
‘Cuckooing’: This is where a ‘friend’ or group takes over a teenager’s personal space, like their bedroom, to use for criminal activities. The young person can be left feeling intimidated in their own home, often too worried to speak up for fear of losing the ‘friendship’.

This form of mistreatment is a type of disability hate crime. It can also overlap with domestic abuse, where a partner might use tactics like gaslighting to make a neurodivergent teen question their own feelings. If your child has often been told their emotional reactions are ‘too much’, they are sadly more likely to believe an abuser who tells them they are overreacting.

The Search for Belonging: Gangs and County Lines

When we hear about gangs, it can feel like something from a film, far from our own lives. However, Child Criminal Exploitation (CCE) is a growing concern in the UK, and neurodivergent young people can be seen as easy targets by those involved. A well-known form of this is ‘County Lines’. This is a term for gangs from cities that expand their drug-selling operations into smaller towns. They do this by recruiting vulnerable young people to move, store, and sell drugs and money, placing them at great risk.

The recruitment process is a form of grooming. It doesn’t start with crime; it starts with the ‘belonging bait’. Recruiters offer everything a lonely teenager might long for: a sense of

family, status, and protection. They make the young person feel important and valued. This is especially true for teens who may have been excluded from school, a situation that unfortunately removes them from a supportive environment and places them in the path of exploiters.

Once a teenager is involved, it becomes very difficult to leave. They are often controlled through threats and ‘debt bondage’—being told they owe the gang an impossible amount of money for ‘lost’ items, creating a cycle of fear.

Navigating the Digital World: Sexual Exploitation and Online Grooming

Child Sexual Exploitation (CSE) is a deeply damaging form of abuse. It is rarely a one-off event, but rather the result of a careful grooming process. An abuser builds a relationship with a child, gaining their trust with attention and gifts, while slowly breaking down their boundaries. Because of this manipulation, the situation may even appear consensual to the child, who might believe they are in a real, loving relationship.

The online world has become a primary place where groomers operate. They can hide their true identity and target teens who express feelings of loneliness online. A common tactic is to persuade a teenager to send explicit images of themselves (‘sexting’). Once the abuser has these images, they can be used for blackmail, a practice known as ‘sextortion’. The perpetrator might threaten to share the images with the teen’s family and friends unless they comply with further demands. For a young person, the fear of shame can be a powerful tool of control.

Other Areas to Be Mindful Of: Financial and Ideological Grooming

Beyond these targeted forms of abuse, neurodivergent teens can also be more susceptible to financial scams and even ideological grooming. Their trusting nature and, for those with ADHD, their impulsivity, can make them open to various schemes.

Online Scams: These can include fake job offers that ask for an upfront fee or imposter scams from people pretending to be from official organisations.
Radicalisation: While not common, it’s helpful to know that extremist groups sometimes target vulnerable individuals. Radicalisation is a grooming process. For some neurodivergent teens, certain traits can be exploited. A deep interest in a topic like politics can be twisted by a group with a similar focus. The autistic preference for clear rules can make rigid, black-and-white ideologies seem appealing. Most importantly, these groups prey on feelings of being an outsider, offering simple explanations and a powerful sense of community.

Your Gentle Watchfulness: How to Spot the Signs

Reading about these things can feel overwhelming. So, let’s turn to the most practical question: what should you gently look out for? A single sign is rarely a cause for alarm, but a cluster of changes in your teenager’s behaviour and mood are worth paying attention to. Think of them as amber flags, signalling that it’s time to connect and perhaps start a gentle conversation.

Changes in Behaviour:

Are they suddenly very secretive, especially with their phone?
Have they started going missing from home or taking unexplained trips?
Does their language seem ‘scripted’, as if someone is telling them what to say?

Changes in Behaviour:

Do they have a new, often older, friend or group who seem overly influential?
Have they withdrawn from their old friends and family?

Money and Possessions:

Do they have new money, clothes, or phones that can’t be explained?
Conversely, are they always short of money, or are things going missing from the home?

Emotional and Physical Wellbeing:

Do they have unexplained injuries?
Has there been a sudden change in their personal hygiene?
Are they showing more signs of anxiety, fear, or aggression, or do they seem emotionally withdrawn?

As a parent, you know your child better than anyone. If your intuition tells you that a new ‘friend’ isn’t right, or if things just don’t seem to add up, trust that feeling. It’s not a reason to panic, but a clear signal to gently investigate further. The next step is to create a safe space to talk, which we know can be a challenge. In our next article, we will focus on the digital world and explore how you can navigate online safety while building your teen’s confidence and resilience.

Explore Our Other Articles In This Series Of Five:

Beyond Protection: Nurturing Resilience in Your Neurodivergent Teen
Go beyond protection for your neurodivergent teen. Build resilience with strategies for social understanding, emotional management, and stronger life skills.
The Digital Playground: A Kind Guide to Online Safety for Your Neurodivergent Teen
Navigate online safety with your neurodivergent teen. Learn to empower them with a digital toolkit based on communication, tools, and skill-building.
The World Through a Different Lens: A Guide to Understanding Your Neurodivergent Teen
Understand your neurodivergent teen. This guide explores the unique experiences of autistic and ADHD teens, offering insights for parents to foster safety and support.